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Servus! Moin Moin! Gruess Gott!
Last Friday I received a wonderful mail from a listener, Mrs. C. Neumann, who contacted me on the myGermany Podcast MySpace Profile. In her mail to me she discussed her experiences and point of view about the 9th Episode: German Stereotypes Revisited. I found it a fascinating read, as she has been an ex-pat in Germany for over 18 years. She adds a lot of color and flair to my rather pallid and superficial discussion on the podcast.
Have a look and please let me know what you think about the topic!
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Dear Mr. Rhoden,
I thought I would take a moment to address some of the points you mentioned in your Podcast Stereotypes.
1. Do Germans really stare more aggressively than others?
Actually, I find myself doing this all of the time, as if I had never done anything else. One could think of it in this manner: Who or what has compelled us not to observe those around us? Who or what has deemed this rude behavior? Anthropologists believe that non-verbal communication was the first form of communication, long before we invented language, so one could ask themselves this question, “Why is the Anglo-Saxon world doing their very best to squash the most basic form of non-verbal communication since we have begun to interact with one another?”
2. Are Germans rude and much more blunt than English speakers are used to?
I would say, unless the person’s name is Dieter Bohlen, not really. This stereotype must surely have resulted from Germans with limited English vocabulary, as they excel in eloquence in their own language. What may strike native speakers of English is their unabashed manner to express criticism. Recently speaking to a business associate on this subject, this person explained that this is a result of having been denied the freedom of opinion during the Third Reich Period. Afterwards, people actually had to be encouraged to express criticism, and it has now reached such a saturation point that many Germans simply ooze unsolicited criticism, often not even realising what they are saying.
3. Is Germany a pessimistic society?
(Laughing). Most definitely. One can see it in all forms of daily German life. It’s most depressing. Take the economy for example; most of the economic slump in Europe is over except in Germany, as I suspect the Germans shall never give up their pessimistic attitude, that could be best expressed, “Life is a bitch, and it’s becoming bitchier each day!”
The Bild Zeitung, the most popular tabloid in Germany, literally thrives on this pessimism. A friend once criticised me for reading this ‘load of rubbish’ as she called it, saying that I would be far to intelligent to waste my time reading that “Regurgitated rubbish”. But I had two reasons for reading the daily tabloid. First of all, I did it with a high-lighter marker, and every word I came across, I marked to learn, and so I could expand my vocabulary rather quickly. The other reason was for alleviation reasons. I told my friend, “Well if you think you having a rotten day, all you have to do is to read the Bild Zeitung, and it is full of stories of people having a much worse day, and then you won’t feel so pessimistic about your life anymore!”
Another example I clearly remember is upon explaining to my cousin-in-law, Roswitha, that most Turks do not have life insurance policies. Upon hearing this, she was visibly struck, saying, “My God! How can they even live without having death insurance?”
Come to think of it now, I think this is a reason why Germans enjoy long holidays in exotic places - they literally go on holiday to recuperate from the permanent onslaught of pessimism. Relaxed Germans are those Germans, who have neither opened their mailboxes nor heard news in any media form (newspaper, television, radio) for a while.
4. Are most German men really fat and have beer guts?
Sad but true, especially for men above the age of 25. But the beer is not directly making them fat. Beer, which has a glucose index value of 95 - the same as French fries, incidentally - causes a hyper-glucose reaction that only makes one even more hungrier. Ergo the more beer you drink, the more you eventually eat. In addition to this the Germans have a soft spot for potato products in all forms, and they are the leading bread-eaters in Europe. It is estimated that more than half of the population is suffering from hyper-glycomia (pre-diabetes) and are overweight, whilst one fourth is actually diabetic.
5. Is the bureaucracy in Germany that overwhelming?
Overwhelming? Overwhelming is an understatement. Personal story: I once bought a small sailboat here in Germany, a 16 foot day-sailor. To keep it, I thought it would be best to join a club, a ‘Verein’. Mind you, I learned how to sail at the age of 12 in California, and was of the opinion that for such a small vessel, it really shouldn’t be much of problem to sail a little boat on a lake or river. But the club, the ‘Verein’ insisted that I get a pilot’s license for the vessel. Not just for sailing, but for sailing and motor, and not just in General, but only for Inland waterways.
In the meantime, I have been talked into getting three (3) separate boat piloting licenses; one for sailing and motoring on inland waterways (Sportbootfhrerschein Binnen unter Motor und Segel); one for operating vessels under 15 metres of length on the coastal seas up to a distance from the shore not exceeding 5 sea miles (Sportboothrerschein See); and one for operating sailing vessels at a distance not exceeding 12 sea miles (Sportkuestenschifferschein unter Segel und Motor). In addition to this, I have a VHF radio funk licenses for both inland and coastal waterways. At the time, I earned the respect of my classmates, because I was the only one in the class to receive them for international funk traffic (in other words, I also took the test in English).
Mind you each test takes approximately 3-6 months to prepare for each test, as there are over 300 questions in the official question catalog. The answers have to be memorised (no multiple choice) and repeated verbatim, in a concise and contrite form of language only the Germans can think up.
I actually only did this whole rigamarol to prove a point. They said I would never do it - it was just too hard for even a German, and impossible for a foreigner. And you know what? I did end up setting a record of sorts. I was the first woman, as well as the first foreigner to ever obtain four licenses within a single year from the DSV (Deutscher Segel-Verein). Having received these three licenses, I went on to prepare for the Sea Sport Vessel License (Seeschifferschein) for permission to pilot waters at a maximum distance from the land of 30 sea miles, but I moved and haven’t found the time to take the test.
Despite all of this certification, there is still a number of related things I am not allowed to do. I am not allowed to Windsurf. I am officially not allowed to pilot Lake Constance, even though I have a German National Inland Waterway Boating License, as it does not officially include Lake Constance (go figure!), and I do not have a Rhine Shipman’s Patent, which would actually allow be to rent a house boat. The maximum vessel length I am allowed to pilot is 15 metres on inland waterways, and 20 metres on German sea lanes. And guess what? Most house boat start at vessel lengths of 25 metres.
The club still eggs me on about getting the damn Sea License. My only comment was, “Ah come on guys! At the rate you are going, you are going to be insisting any day now that I will have to get a license in order to use the toilet, and get certified to change the damn toilet paper roll”.
6. Does the German diet consist mainly of Sauerkraut and Wurst?
I think my husband, an avid German cook and gourmet (as a hobby), would clobber you if you asked him this question. Although they have an enormous variety of Wurst (sausage), especially were I live in the Rhoen, which is famous for its Wurst, they don’t eat it all the time.
And I will let you in on a secret about Sauerkraut: For years I avoided it like the pest. I thought I would faint whenever I opened a can, jar or bag of that stuff. For me, it not only smelled ghastly, it tasted horrible as well. I thought it was the worst culinary invention of the Germans, with the exception of Blutwurst (sausage made of boiled beef blood, coagulated in gelatin. with lumps of coagulated beef lard floating around in it), which is the worst. But then I found out that almost everybody doctors the sauerkraut up. Nobody eats it straight out the bag, and if you would read the label, they even offer you suggestions, such as adding honey, a swig of white wine, chunks of apple or pineapple, juniper berries, bay leaves, bacon bits, etc. Then, I found out, that once you fix it up, it actually tastes quite good.
7. Are Lederhosen the ultimate in German fashion?
If this were true, I would move elsewhere! Nobody really believes that, do they? I assume you are talking about Tracht - or traditional clothing, because George Michael wears Lederhosen (leather trousers) too, and he is not starring in his own Alpine beer commercial. Let us put it into the same category as “Cowboy hats and boots are the ultimate in American fashion”. It’s regional, just like in Texas, and it’s traditional. Detlef Schrimpf, former CEO from Chrysler-Daimler (Mercedes Benz) probably doesn’t even own a pair. Incidentally richly embroidered “Ochsenhosen” is not Tracht outside Bavaria, and not even traditional clothing in the Hessian Rhoen.
8. Is Germany a more orderly and tidy society than most others?
Compared to some other countries I have visited, I would say to a certain extent, however this is deteriorating. Just look at the amount of Graffitti you see on any subway in any major city. I think it reached a saturation point, when the Green party finally demanded deposits for every beverage container except for milk, juice and wine. Then Germany finally started really cleaning up.
Many foreigners find it amusing that Germans have up to four separate waste bins (garbage cans) for every household. One for paper; one for biological degradable waste; one for plastic and metal; and one for ‘other’. It falls under my category I call in German “Volksverdummung” (public stupidity) or “Volksbeschäftigung” (public activity). Supposedly, the waste in the yellow container is being recycled to produce new products. In reality, the community has paid handsomely for brand new waste incineration facilities, that have cost millions. In order to maintain cost plans, these facilities have to be run continuously. As they were originally conceived in a period before every household had four waste bins, they are designed to incinerate huge quantities (up to 48,000 metric tonnes of waste per day per plant), and the Germans don’t produce so much “other” waste anymore. Result: the shove the waste that is supposed to be producing new useful recycled products into the waste plants to keep the plants feasible and in budget. While the rest of Germany believes that the world is becoming more tidy by diligently sorting their waste, the communities are actually incinerating up to 90% of it. I know better! One of my clients was a corporation that builds these plants.
9. Are Germans arrogant?
Most are I believe. Yes, most Germans consider there are two ways of doing things: the wrong way and the German way.
But now being bi-cultural, I think it is a normal form of human arrogance (not in a necessarily negative sense) to believe that people simply do things better in their own country. I am sure the French believe there is the French way, and the wrong way, for example.
But I shall share with you an insight I once read. I came across this reference work about British society, written in German. Sorry, I cannot remember the title of the publication, but if I find it, I shall recommend it to you.
The author maintained that in the German intellectual world, one can only obtain respect from others, by subduing those around them with obvious and overbearing intelligence.
For example, if a German professor wishes to impress his German audience, he uses the most complex and contrite forms of speech and the most complicated word choice he possibly can, so that no one would have the audacity to challenge his paragon of authority. This is commonly accepted and considered virtuous in Germany.
In British society, where self-modesty is more of a virtue, the same British professor would impress his British audience by choosing the simplest and most elegant forms of speech, so that his form of communication would be understood by most humblest person.
After reading this, I thought to myself, ‘A-ha! No wonder I really don’t understand what those nice little love letters from the Arbeitsamt (National Employment Agency), the Finanzamt (National Tax Authority), and the Regierungspräsidium Kassel (Hessian State Agency that issues traffic violations) are trying to tell me! They’re doing it on purpose, so that I won’t even think of attempting to challenge their authority.’ Incidentally, most Germans don’t really understand them either.
10. Do Germans have a sense of humor at all?
Most certainly! Michael Mittemaier, Dieter Nuhr, Michael “Bully” Herbig, and Mario Barth are amongst my most favourite comedians. Oddly enough, the Germans themselves find Anglo-Saxon humour very funny. Actors like Adam Sandler, Rowan Atkins and Hugh Grant are big box office draws, and Germany is probably the only non-English country where Monty Python and the Rocky Horror Picture Show enjoy cult status.
But, sadly, I think German humour never gets translated. Comedies and even romantic comedies are a very popular film genre amongst the Germans.
There is still a cultural humour point I am trying to overcome though - a concept called “Schadenfreude”. It’s a complicated concept that basically means laughing about the other’s misfortune. For example, there is a popular television show, called “Talk Talk Talk”, which edits portions out of talk shows. As talk shows are becoming less interesting in Germany, they are pulling more and more excerpts from U.S. shows, which depict talk show guests that are obese, disfigured, have physical handicaps, are scared, maimed or have amputations, or else the talk show guest has an obvious lack in intelligence or they have obvious psychological problems. At any rate, the editors dub in sarcastic comments making the people seem even more stupid than they probably actually are. The Germans find this hilarious - I find it unnecessarily cruel.
11. Do you really have to shake everyone’s hand all the time?
By no means! There are specific rules pertaining to this, contained in a work known as “Knigge”, or the German standard version of Miss Manners. Permanently walking about with an extended hand is definitely considered ‘weird’ behaviour - even in Germany.
12. What is with all the German tourists? Wearing sandals with black socks?
I know! I know! There are Germans on holiday, who considered themselves formally dressed for dinner when they slip their swim trunks back on after a day of nude sun bathing at the beach. But actually, I find that trivial compared to the image of the German tourists on the Balearic Islands.
Incidentally, did you know that some idiot German Member of Parliament actually proposed that Germany should annex Mallorca from Spain, without ever consulting the King or the Spanish Government? His based his argument on the sheer number of German inhabitants and tourists that frequent this island annually. I have forgotten their name, but it’s a true story. Caused a government scandal in 2001.
It must be a genuine embarrassment to the German government, when the media broadcasts the masses of young German tourists that come to Mallorca for the sole purpose of drinking exorbitant quantities of alcohol (Sangria with straws out of full pails), loud, rude, crude drunken behavior and brawling, loud garish discotheques with German music, and much to the annoyance of the Maroquinians littering, vomiting and uninterrupted public sex on their beaches.
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Wishing you a pleasant day,
C. Neumann
And I was going through Amazon and found some cool stuff that you might like to have. Just browse the carousel and if you’re interested, click on the product.
Thoughts Aside:
If you are looking for flights to amsterdam, you should have booked well before time. The las vegas flights as well as the flights to phoenix are hard to get at the last minute. On the other hand, the flights to spain are more easily available as the last minute flights.
here\'s something similar
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I truly enjoyed this commentary.
[...] Neumann for taking time to send me her excellent feedback about German [...]